Resolute Over New Year’s Resolutions

Image credit: cnythzl

One of the most common New Year’s resolutions is “Get more done.” Another popular favorite is “Work out 30 minutes every day.” In the post-coronavirus era, there’s always “Reach out and connect, not through texting.”

I’ve never really been a fan of making New Year’s resolutions. I’ve seen too many broken and not enough effort put into others, such as “Stop dating bad boys.” That last declaration was made by a college friend, right before she started seeing a heavily tattooed coke fiend who inevitably stole her stereo from her apartment.

There are people who turn January 1 into an opportunity for self-betterment. Others use it to send a message to people who aren’t as self-aware as they should be. That was my methodology in handling a former coworker who couldn’t take a hint.

In the late 1980s, I worked for a weekly paper in Queens, New York. The offices were located in a small, outdoor strip mall in downtown Flushing. If you didn’t remember to pack a lunch, you chose between a few fast food restaurants and delis.

I was a big fan of Roy Rogers’ roast beef sandwiches. Sometimes I’d let people in the office know that I was going to Roy Rogers for lunch and collected their orders and cash.

There was a woman in ad sales named Joyce who decided that such generosity designated me as the…