Keep Your Vegas Jokes to Yourself

I recently visited Las Vegas for the first time in 12 years. I spent 20 times as much money while gambling, but that statement is deceptive. The last time I was in “Sin City,” I plunked one dollar into a slot machine 30 minutes before my flight departure. Otherwise, I’d have flown home without spending one red cent on any game of chance.

There seems to be some obsession about casino gaming among my social media cohorts posting on my photos from the weekend. That, and at least two references to the cliché, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Believe me, if I wrote at length about the majority of what occurred during my trip, readers would tune out pretty damn quick.

I get it, people still think it’s funny to comment “Don’t lose your plane ticket at the craps table.” Realistically, that’s a near-impossibility with the the advent of online boarding passes and last-minute cancellation fees charged by the airlines.

I replied that my only time spent near the tables was when I sprinted from my hotel room to either the pool, Starbucks, or the Vegas strip. Yet there were people who still felt compelled to insert their out-of-date comments, no matter that the remarks didn’t fit my narrative.

For the record, on Friday afternoon I found myself eating lunch right next to my hotel’s sports book. It was my first protein…