Initially I was devastated when my wife of 20+ years (and a 25-year partnership) cheated. In any long relationship, there will be ebbs and flows. I still saw value in our marriage and our co-parenting of two children. I was even willing to give her a "mulligan" and blame the guy she cheated with. But when she realized I knew the truth, she started gaslighting me, lying every day, being openly hostile in front of our children, and became a completely different person. Looking for reasons why this was happening, I stumbled onto her diary. I learned that decades earlier, she cheated on me after 2 1/2 years of exclusive dating. At that point, I could no longer tolerate her toxic behavior and met with a divorce attorney.