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Air Conditioners Don’t Fly

Jeffrey Cohen

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I’ve only dropped an air conditioner out a window once.

It fell from a first floor window of my suburban house, but that’s besides the point. You’re supposed to prevent a 42-pound hunk of metal from plummeting down the side of a building.

I’ve never owned a home with central air conditioning, so the placement of AC units is key. The three floors of my house contained six different air conditioners – one in each bedroom, one in the home office/attic, and two on the main floor (living room and dining room).

The house came with two ACs left in place. It was easy to see why the previous owner abandoned them.

The attic air conditioner was positioned in a window located on the side of a staircase. You could lean over the staircase to turn it on and off. But there was no way to remove the unit without comically plunging to your own demise. The few times it was serviced, the frustrated maintenance worker used a stack of books on the stairs to precariously level his stepladder. That unit was only removed for winterization once in 18 years. The handyman – a family friend of my then-wife, told us, “From now on, just throw a cover over it.” Although it was early November, he was drenched in sweat from the balancing act of removing the AC without breaking his neck.

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Jeffrey Cohen
Jeffrey Cohen

Written by Jeffrey Cohen

Longtime writer and crank. Articles come from more than 30 years in journalism and corporate communications. Follow my podcast at MrJeff2000.podbean.com.

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