70 Miles From Home

As Rodney Dangerfield used to say, “My doctor told me I should run five miles a day for exercise. I called him after two weeks and said, ‘Doc, I’m 70 miles from home!’” Rodney would add, “That’s a math joke.”

My pediatrician (not Dr. Vinnie Boombatz, Rodney’s physician) told me the same thing when I was 17. Having just gotten my learner’s permit, the first thing I did was stop riding my bike everywhere. “You need to join a gym or…